Looking for “Tooele Jokes”???

Filed under:Opinion, Tooele, Web Log (Blog) — posted by Tyler on May 16, 2006 @ 10:55 pm

I was looking at some server logs today and noticed that somebody found this site by searching for “Tooele Jokes” on Google.  It may have been just coincidence that just yesterday I read an article in the Deseret News [deseretnews.com] that wrapped up the article by knocking on Tooele.

I’ve been living in Tooele, Utah for about 10 months and it didn’t take long to realize that I really like it here.  If I’m being honest, I’ll have to admit that I was on the joke-making end of things before I moved here.  I can’t even tell you why I made jokes; maybe because everyone else did?

Now my question is, why?

When I first moved here I used to make excuses (even to people who lived in Tooele!) about the reasons we were moving here.  I feel horrible for it now, because there is absolutely no reason to be embarrassed about living in this wonderful city.  The commute is only 35 minutes away from Salt Lake City, it still has a small town feel (although that seems to be changing quickly as more and more people decide to make Tooele their home), and the house prices aren’t ridiculous (although that’s also changing…but comparatively we will always have cheaper house prices than the Salt Lake valley).

I’m a big believer in the adage “if you can’t make fun of yourself…” and so I can take a joke or two about Tooele and I can even tell a joke or two about Tooele, but what’s the draw?  I don’t even really know myself and I used to be one of the joke-makers.  It has to be more than just the interesting spelling/pronunciation, right?  Throw in a chemical spill joke, an inbred or hick joke, a small-town joke, BFE jokes, and what else is there?  Oh yeah, the bad grammar.

A colleague at work could tell us a few.  He seems to rip on Tooele non-stop and he’s not ashamed to do so.   Perhaps he can share a few with us?  In fact, if you know a good Tooele joke, post a comment.  Let’s get a good collection going so that when people find this blog by searching for “Tooele Jokes,” they won’t be disappointed.

I’ll start.

When I first came to Tooele I noticed myself doing things that I would never have done when I lived in South Jordan; things that made me realize “I had arrived”- this was my new home.  For example, I started cutting across parking lots, wearing dirty clothes to Walmart and hanging out there, and I think I even spit out my window once.  Oh yeah, and I let my son run around in only his diaper, all the time!

Obviously for all of us who live here in Tooele, none of these things are true and these generalisms do not accurately describe the population of Tooele.  Not so obviously for the people who don’t live in Tooele and have never even driven through Tooele, the jokes about Tooele are NOT TRUE!  Maybe the chemical jokes will come to an end soon enough as the Deseret Chemical Depot closes down in a few short years; the chemical agent is close to being completely destroyed.

Whatever your reason is for poking fun at Tooele, I’d like to hear it.  I really don’t care that anyone makes it the butt of their jokes, I’m just curious as to why?  Who instilled in you that Tooele is something to be made fun of and someplace you wouldn’t want to live?

If you’ve moved here from Salt Lake Valley or someplace else, what is your take on Tooele?  Have you overcome your stereotypes?  Are you starting to question (like I am) why you ever made fun in the first place?

So post your opinions, comments and questions…and jokes!


  1. I’ve lived in both Salt Lake City and Tooele County in the last five years. My wife is from a small town in the South that truly is backward, and probably does live up to the “small backcountry town” stereotype. Truly a differ’nt place. Tooele is not that. It’s got all the positives of a small town with very few of the negative small town stereotypes. I think people in Salt Lake County make fun of Tooele primarily because it is the nearest small town in the vicinity and is somewhat remote.

    Personally, barring future uncontrolled, unorganized development- I don’t see myself ever leaving Tooele County. It’s nice to be able to see more than a couple stars at night and mountain ranges not littered with rich-people houses. It’s nice to walk around at night without the fear of being shot/stabbed/mugged/sodomized/beaten. I sometimes work graveyard shifts in downtown Salt Lake and believe me, outside of the Temple Square area, you don’t want to be out after dark.

    But if you want some good entertainment, visit the 7-11 on 300 E. 100 S. Billy Bob Thornton lives there. No, really, he does. He’s slightly younger than he appears on TV, but it’s him. He has long, highly intellectual conversations with himself in front of the store. Be sure not to miss Jimmy the 300 lb man-whore who struts his stuff on the corner of 200 S. and 300 E in a midrift and short shorts, to 80’s ghetto-blaster tunes. Or the dude across the street with a shopping cart full of electrical gadgets from the 70’s, which he’s selling in order to raise enough money to buy a gun or a knife so he can learn his ex-buddy a lesson. My favorite character is the 60-something wannabe gangsta that pretends to talk to people on the pay phone outside the Maverik on 600 S. He knows all the street lingo and spends a great deal of time telling stories on that phone. If I hadn’t seen his act numerous times, I might think he’s actually talking to somebody.

    And no trip to Salt Lake City would be complete without a visit to the ZCMI mall to talk to Long John Silver’s unofficial spokesperson. This guy’s from Boston, and he knows his seafood. He also knows where to spot the chicks. He’ll gladly point out his favorite table where you can view the “biggest knockers you’ll ever see.”

    Back to the topic at hand, which was what- Tooele? Oh yeah. Can small towns be somewhat backward? Yes. But big cities tend to be looney bins. And as a former downtown Salt Laker (I lived right on 200 South), I can definitively say that Salt Lake City is wack-job central. I’ll take an occasional backward hick over an army of wack-jobs any day, thank you very much!

    Oh, and I cut through parking lots and hung out at Wal-Mart even when I was living in an affluent part of West Jordan!

    Comment by D. Sirmize — May 17, 2006 @ 8:11 am

  2. When I was a young girl and lived in Washington State someone had come from Tooele and as kids do, we made a play on words…people who live in Tooele live in the toolies. I actually looked this word up in the dictionary and found it under the spelling tule. Noun. either of two large bulrushes abundant in lowlands along riversides in California and neighboring regions.

    Comment by Mom — May 20, 2006 @ 6:02 am

  3. The best thing about Tooele jokes is getting you people who live there all worked up about them. Street corner chemical sensor and air raid siren jokes aside. Toole is a great place to live, once you get use to the smell. :)

    Comment by MadScientist — May 23, 2006 @ 6:28 am

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